Let’s Talk About Sex
Let’s be real—this is a tough topic for a lot of people. Whether it’s awkward church memories, painful regrets, or uncomfortable conversations, many of us carry wounds and confusion around the topic of sex.
But if we’re going to build strong, Christ-centered marriages, we can’t ignore it.
We’re All a Little Messed Up
No one gets through life without some level of brokenness in this area—whether it’s past mistakes, trauma, addiction, or just living in a culture that bombards us with distorted messages. The good news? Jesus meets us right in the middle of our mess. He doesn’t shame us—He heals us.
God’s Design Is Good
Sex isn’t taboo. It’s holy. Jesus Himself affirmed God’s design for sex in marriage when He said, “The two will become one flesh…what God has joined together, let no one separate” (Matthew 19:5–6). Sex is meant to unite—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. It’s powerful. And like fire, when it’s in the right place, it brings warmth and life. When it’s not, it can burn everything down.
The Enemy’s Playbook
The devil knows the power of sex and loves to twist it. His strategy?
Overhype the need – Make sex seem like the ultimate source of happiness.
Undersell the consequences – Pretend there’s no harm in casual sex or porn.
Burn it down – Stir up temptation and lead us into addiction or unfaithfulness.
Freeze it out – Once married, convince us that intimacy is no longer important.
Contain the Fire & Keep It Hot
Scripture calls us to both protect and pursue intimacy in marriage.
Contain it: Sex belongs in marriage. Protect your thoughts, your heart, and your body. Be honest about temptations. Run from anything that could pull you away from your spouse.
Keep it hot: Don’t let your love life grow cold. Schedule time for intimacy, have open conversations, pursue each other intentionally. You’re not just roommates—you’re partners, lovers, and teammates.
Grace for Every Story
If this topic brings up pain, regret, or shame—take a deep breath. Jesus took that shame to the cross. He knows the wounds. He knows the regrets. And He offers healing, freedom, and a new beginning.
You’re not too far gone. Your marriage isn’t too far gone. There is grace. There is hope. There is restoration in Jesus.
Reflection Questions:
Why do you think talking about sex in church feels so uncomfortable for many people?
Do you tend to underestimate the power of sex—either by dismissing it or idolizing it?
In your marriage, are you more likely to let the fire burn out or burn out of control?
What’s one intentional step you can take this week to grow in intimacy with your spouse?
